You are not alone

I think that sometimes we feel as though we are all alone.  For those of
us who know in our head that God is always with us, it is more difficult.
Being human, we need other human beings to be a part of our lives.

If we do not reach out to people when we need them, we begin to feel
isolated.  Then, our mind starts working over time to convince us that
nobody cares for us.  I have been there.  It is not a fun place to reside.
Who is at fault?  Who can I blame?  How can I move from this place?

I write journals.  I have always been a writer.  It helps me to think more
clearly.  Oh yes, I write exactly what I am feeling but it gets it out of my
head so it does not fester there.  I tell God all about it.  He already knows
me and knows exactly what I am feeling.

Sometimes we just don't give ourselves a break.  A break from working.
A break from being "better".  A break from people who are difficult.
A break from "out there".

If you are feeling like this, here are some tips.  Listen to soothing music
and close your eyes.  Allow the relaxation to cover you and don't fight
it.  Look at fun magazines on home decor, flowers, fashion, travel, etc.
Drink a cup of flavored tea in a pretty china cup...if you don't have one
you need to buy one!!  Go for a walk and notice the beauty of nature
which God created just for you.

After this, do something daring.  New haircut, new color, new makeup,
a new pair of jeans, a new cell phone cover (mine is so cute).  Go to places
you have not gone before.  Talk to someone at the mall that you have
never met.

You are not alone and neither am I.  There are people who care about
us even when we don't feel like they do.  Get out there and take care
of yourself, girlfriend.

A Few Things I have learned along the way.

Women Need Girlfriends!!

This is so important.  Only women can understand one another.

I know that our husbands are our best friends but they were
not created to be emotional beings.  We need sisters who can
really feel our joy and sorrow.

We carry burdens that only another woman can understand.
When we have trauma in our family, a woman understands.
When someone that we trusted betrays us, a woman under
stands.  When we say or do something we wished we had not,
a woman understands.  When we are ready to crumble, a woman
will give us a hug.

A woman can rejoice with us when we are celebrating something
foolish...I did not eat chocolate cake today!!  Women can talk
and laugh about nothing important.  A woman has an open,
caring heart for the feelings of others.

When girlfriends get together they all benefit.  We never know
how our sharing can encourage someone else.  My sister loves
it when I share my flaws.  It gives her pleasure and so I just
keep making mistakes!!!  Girlfriends are people that love us and
we can just relax in their presence.  Girlfriends are REAL. 

Girlfriends come in all shapes, sizes and ethnicities.  We are
drawn to other women as if there is a magnet in each of our
hearts.  God uses women to come alongside and be of help.
I know that all women do not have the blessing of girlfriends
but maybe you can start looking for a few girls to try out.

I love spending time with my husband but I need girlfriends.

A Few Things I have learned along the way

Women Need Girlfriends.

I hope that every woman reading this is aware that we need one another.
My husband is my best friend but he does not think like a woman and I
am happy about that!!  He would not want to devote time to talk about
"NOTHING".  He cannot understand how feely I am about things.  He
does not jump up and down with me when I am excited.

Now that we have established that women need women, let us get down
to it.  God has given us opportunities to be a part of another woman's life.
He has given certain people to us for a season.  He knows what we need and
what we go through.  God loves us and knows our weakness.  He approves
of girlfriends.

Please do not tell me that you do not have time for girlfriends.  You need
them.  You cannot be all that you should be without time out with friends.
If you are a planner in your purse person, schedule time to be wih your
girlfriends.  Just get together and laugh.

Helpful Hints

Today I was with some friends and we were just talking about many things.  I was sharing some ways to keep focused on the right thinking.  They laughed and suggested it was something to add to my blog.

Women have a hard time remaining calm.  Life throws things at you constantly and when you start feeling yourself getting upset...CD  Calm Down.  Put your hand on your forearm and say "Calm Down, your name".  It really helps.  A few
deep breaths will also be helpful.

When you encounter people in and out of your home that "bug" you, try this.
NE...No expectations.  Our problem is that we expect things of everyone.  Stop it.  You cannot control anyone but yourself.  Relax and accept people for who
they are with NE.  This really helps with husbands and children.

For everything else that crowds into your life and tries to take your joy away
LIG...Let It Go.   Just picture it floating up to God the only One who can change
anyone or anything.  You can sing this to the tune of "Let is snow" using,
Let it go. 

Life is not complicated, you just have to figure out how to continue being you
in the midst of people and circumstances.  I hope this helps.

A Few Things I have learned along the way.

Nothing is too big or too small for God to care about.

How wonderful to know that God knows me and loves me

just as I am.  As I grow older I have come to realize that

God takes care of me moment by moment.  It is not just

about the big issues such as health but also the little

things like losing everything!!!

When God created us He knew that we would have so

many issues and He is always there to help.  I always

appreciate His help with:

• losing car keys
• losing money
• losing one earring
• forgetting what I went to the store to get
• losing assorted articles of clothing

I don't think that I am the only woman who faces these

times of inadequacy.  God gently reminds me that when
I am losing my mind, He is there to do the repair without
shaking His head and rolling His eyes.  Thank you, Lord.

I am so comforted by verses that talk about God using
the weaker things.  Yes, I am weak and I love the way
He is the only strength that I need.  I depend on my
Heavenly Father moment by moment through the day.
I am not fearful because He is always beside me.

I lost a beautiful black and white rhinestone earring
one year ago.  Yes, God knew it was hiding under my bed

and allowed me to bend down for another reason so that

I would see it.  He knows that I love to sparkle!!

A Few Things I have learned along the way.

Children are in our homes for a very short time, have fun

with them.

This is a picture of  five of my six grandchildren.  They are

such a joy and blessing in my life.  They say and do funny

things all of the time.  I could already write several books

on their view of  life.  They bring so much laughter to the

home.  When I look at them, I am reminded of my children

and some of the fun we had in our home.

There is so much work to being a good parent.  Life

can become a series of  what has to be done.  Yes, there

are lessons that must be learned but children need to

have fun at home.  Home is the safe place where a child

knows they are loved NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS in

the outside world. 

If life gets dull, have a nothing party!!  You know what

your children enjoy so let them have it and make it a

surprise.  Have their friends over and give them treats

that children like to eat.  Make your home the base camp

for your child's friends.

We have already realized that four of our grandchildren

are not available because they are in school now.  That

time when they were toddlers flew by.  Their mommies

and daddies cannot just take them out of school to go

to the park or get an ice cream.

Make each day a good memory by planning something

fun with your child or grandchild.  Remember Valentines

Day is Monday.

A Few Things I have learned along the way

Each day is a gift so don't take one day for granted.

How many friends do we have who have lost their
partner or a family member?  Time is something that
we all share.  We have choices as to the spending of
this time.  I never want the word "regret" used when
thinking about friends and loved ones that have been
a part of my life.
I refuse to waste the precious moments of one day
worrying about things that are not relevant to my
walk with the Lord.  God knows all about the economy,
my health, the health of loved ones, my living
conditions, the weather, the unrest in the world,
our government, etc. 
If we knew we had this one day to live, how different
would our thinking and doing be.  I know that there
would be many phone calls that I would make so that
people knew how much they meant to me.  People who
live nearby would get one last hug of appreciation for
what they contributed to my life.  I would clear much
of my bank account and give it to the places that God is
using for His glory.  I would spend time thinking about
the goodness of God over the many years He has given.
I would speak to each of my children and grandchildren
to know how much I love them.  My husband and I
would recall our lives together. 
We only have today.  No matter what our age, this could
be our last day.  I want to use my day to appreciate the
Lord and all that He gives me each day.  No worrying!!

A Few Things I have learned along the way.

Women have a hard time focusing on themselves.  A woman sees herself as someone who cares for family, a husband, children, friends, work associates, etc.  When life is filled with demands to "fix" everyone and everything, a woman gets weary.  Because I am now in my 60s, I know that most of the stuff that we blame ourselves for had a purpose that we cannot fully understand until eternity.
There are some general principles that have helped me to live a life of appreciation.

1.  Forgive people so that you do not become a bitter person.
     
      A lack of forgiveness does not hurt the person you will not forgive, it
      hurts you.  You are the one wasting time thinking about something 
      that someone did or said to you.  Your mind can make a very small
      thing into a mountain if we do not let go of it. 
      I know people who have completely changed their personality
      because of their lack of forgiveness.

      I am not perfect and neither is any person on earth.   We say and do
      things that others have to forgive us for.  It is just practical to keep
      your heart and mind cleaned out so it does not become a stagnant
      place of bitterness.

2.  Joy comes from inside not the material things that life has to offer.

      How life has changed since the economy has dipped.  People have
      lost quite a bit of the "stuff" they thought made them happy.  There
      has been a renewal of family life and memory making times that do
      not include Disneyland!
      Time is so much more valuable to people than gifts, no matter how
      large.  Is life really about having more things than other people? 
      What a sad way to view life.

      When I think about all the blessings in one day, I am overwhelmed
      with joy.
      We have healthy, happy children and grandchildren.   I live in a place
      that is perfectly suited to our needs.  I have girlfriends who laugh
      with me about nothing!  I have people who pray for me. 

       We all have a list of things that have nothing to do with material
       things that give us joy.  Money cannot buy happiness just a lot of
       junk.

    To be continued